Inauguration Speech

This was the rough draft of President Obama's inauguration speech that he created with this speech generator.

My fellow Americans, today is a orange day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "bike", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually eat.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces tired and stinky challenges like never before. Our economy is relieved. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hot dogs. Our healthcare system is smart. If your ankle is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a basketball player. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a box pebble. But boozing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Stockton.

Finally, I must thank my white family, my painful campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Abby for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of flexing the American people. Without your poopy efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Free Gas, Free Mortgage

Here's the video to accompany my last haiku. Under the Obama administration, we won't have to worry about putting gas in our cars, or paying our mortgages. Yay! I'd like to buy a house now.

Welcome President Obama

Obama, hello
Thanks for buying gas and homes
Money for free, yo.

Shitty Jobs

Hope

A colleague "modified" this poster in my office. This is the candidate for you if you like socialists on snow machines.