hmmmmmm

Free Gas, Free Mortgage

Here's the video to accompany my last haiku. Under the Obama administration, we won't have to worry about putting gas in our cars, or paying our mortgages. Yay! I'd like to buy a house now.

A picture is worth 44 presidents

Me in 2012 or Tomrrow

If you really want change, vote for me in 2012. I am currently assembling a loosely contracted band of devoted and highly dangerous persons to help me run the nation. I will accept any types of weapons, boats, and armored vehicles to strengthen my cause. The good news is we can't lose because even if we lose an election, we still take over the nation eventually. The rogue nature of this timeless and endless campaign appeals to every American's inner and at sometimes subconscious desire to be the rugged individual. At some point every American will succumb to the party whether they join or not. So you might as well get on the train.

My campaign is founded on these principals: we should do what feels right morally, hoping for the best and planning for the worst, catching fools slipping, loving hard, living hard, 80's fist pumps, super-sets, operating in the red, live free or die, "what's the worst that could happen?", no mercy for the wicked, "happy wife, happy life", the other side of the can, no one is scarier and more unpredictable than the crazy white guy, stay in your stance, "you won't do it", drinking games, mental toughness, core strength, winning, having a positive mental attitude, punch dancing, don't tread on me, loose lips sink ships, never making someone do something you wouldn't, shock and awe, the big lebowski, shooting straight, striking true, loyalty, iron fists, to thine own self be true, "it's more of a guideline really", be polite but always have a plan to kill anyone you meet, not seeing color, the total destruction of Title IX, going rogue, hunter s. thompson, believing in a higher power, ROWYCO, "I can't accept not trying", orienteering, comedy, meaningful music and some catchy dance grooves, selling out (the positive connotation kind), partner stretches, personal idealism, the Socratic method, running to win, popping your chin strap, KG's intensity, being radical in way that the TMNTs are, wit, one liners, HD TV, fighting the good fight, laughing at imminent danger or death averted, earned sleep, shared hardship, fair warning, top gun, liberally interpreting the gray area, smiles, double days, when hard work pays off, championship celebrations, self determination, and above all COMMON SENSE.

All campaign contributors get a free piece of badass gear. What is that you ask? Well, donate and find out. All of the crew will additionally be included in the construction of the party's accords.

The Jolly Roger flying over the capital as the unofficial national colors is change I can believe in and so can you.

Faithfully Yours,

Cap'n P.L.P. Cutlass of the Rogue Ship "The Renegade"

A less skewed view of Proposition 8

If liberalism is a mental disorder, than this is exhibit A. The current election has brought people’s emotions to the ballot box. Liberals and conservatives are fighting for their respective views by voting. There have been heated debates, and rampant disagreements, but this is natural in a voting season. What is not natural is taking your passion that one step further and encroaching upon people’s personal property or feelings and committing a heinous heartless act. Why is it that the person to crack and resort to mischief under the cover of night, is the same person that calls themselves open minded and loving of all?

This election harbors an issue, actually a non-issue, that has brought historic amounts of monies in support and disagreement. It is basically a ploy for the government to enter into the church business. Don’t get me wrong, I hold no hatred towards same sex couples. I believe that if they love one another and are willing to spend their lives together, then so be it. I just think that this “right” to be married is a polluted script written by legislature in an attack on the churches that hold this sacrament as a holy belief. Why is the government espousing moral rhetoric? There has to be a better way to facilitate a productive life for all citizens of California, and the United States for that matter.

Since our population is changing and we are experiencing more and more same sex couples, the law and tradition must change, not the religious belief. What is wrong with the state recognizing the union of two individuals, man or woman? We only need the state to recognize that we are together and legally bound. The church is where we go to recognize our union to our respective faiths and deities by petitioning a marriage. The separation should remain as such. This would make the marriage process twofold, one part legal and one part spiritual, but so be it. If your church or spiritual organization is willing to let your union be recognized in their faith or belief system through marriage, then who are some slimy politicians to tell you the wiser. The entrance of the word marriage on capitol hill conveys the presence of religion. My morals are not dictated by my government.

When I have a problem spiritually, I do not get on my knees and pray to Arnold. I look to God. However, if I have a problem with the state of repair that our streets are in, or if I think that the budget leans to far in favor of police and fire unions, or even if I think our current foreign policy resembles a zit faced pet store employee introducing a snake into an aquarium of feeding rats, my government is the entity in which I turn. When morals enter the government, hatred is bred. This sign (pictured above) is evidence of the twisted church that the government has become. Vote yes on Proposition 8 and fight for a better solution that will benefit all citizens rather than condemning some.

Seriously?

Twas the Night Before the Election

'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

" On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi"
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

Lazy Trick or Treaters

Haiku and Unicorns are my favorite**CORRECTED**

The Bradley Effect
Is the equivalent of
Unicorns are real

Let's Carve Pumpkins!

If you are like Andy, you are still trying to decide what to carve on your pumpkin. Hopefully these pumpkin stencils will help! Happy carving!

The Red Sox did it, so it could be possible

Phamily Phun

Because I *sad face* will miss the sure to ensue downpour of political dinner table conversations, I will need to enlist the help of my E-family for a few key local political decisions. I received my absentee ballot, but in the infinate wisdom of the San Joaquin County Registrar of Voters, they didn't send me a voting guide. I have done as much internet searching as I can take for now, but I thought I'd enlist the opinions of the (CLEARLY) smartest people I know.

Clem. Has he done anything notable? I know there was a brief sign controvery at 815 W. Mariposa, but I truly am uninformed as to this mayorial race. Insights wise ones?

Also, techy measure U. Is this necessary?

Ukelelelarry: You might know about water district fun. Personally, I have no idea what they even do. Please impart your knowledge.

The last 3 I'm unsure about are the 26th district assembly, superior court judge, and Delta mumbo jumbo. I appreciate all input, and of course understand that each of you is right in your own special way.

Shitty Jobs

If you win, it's because you cheated

Recently voter fraud has been on many people's minds. Especially this girl's, with the majority currently voting that crowning a "haiku of the week" winner is "stupid". (personal note, what!?)

I digress. The idea is that if somehow the Republican ticket dosen't win (gasp), then it is because Mickey Mouse has been registerd by Acorn and his vote clearly swung the tides. Someone much smarter than I described this phenomena and why it's a load of BS. Enjoy.

Register Me 3 More Times

Huffington Post Fundrace

What a great new way to cyberstalk people. Find out who is donating to what candidates--and how much.

Ever wonder who is indoctrinating our youth? Try searching for people employed by UC Davis.

$50,594 was given by people who identified their employer as "UC Davis". $3,463 from 5 people to Republicans $47,131 from 81 people to Democrats

Maybe you're thinking that the People's Republic of Davis is not representative of all educational institutions. Try a different method. Search for people that are professors.

$14,098,562 was given by people who identified their occupation as "professor". $947,808 from 1,139 people to Republicans $13,150,754 from 16,000 people to Democrats

Interesting...

Try searching for your friends and neighbors to get an insight into their politics. This is assuming they are not too cheap or poor to donate money.

http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/