If you really want change, vote for me in 2012. I am currently assembling a loosely contracted band of devoted and highly dangerous persons to help me run the nation. I will accept any types of weapons, boats, and armored vehicles to strengthen my cause. The good news is we can't lose because even if we lose an election, we still take over the nation eventually. The rogue nature of this timeless and endless campaign appeals to every American's inner and at sometimes subconscious desire to be the rugged individual. At some point every American will succumb to the party whether they join or not. So you might as well get on the train.
My campaign is founded on these principals: we should do what feels right morally, hoping for the best and planning for the worst, catching fools slipping, loving hard, living hard, 80's fist pumps, super-sets, operating in the red, live free or die, "what's the worst that could happen?", no mercy for the wicked, "happy wife, happy life", the other side of the can, no one is scarier and more unpredictable than the crazy white guy, stay in your stance, "you won't do it", drinking games, mental toughness, core strength, winning, having a positive mental attitude, punch dancing, don't tread on me, loose lips sink ships, never making someone do something you wouldn't, shock and awe, the big lebowski, shooting straight, striking true, loyalty, iron fists, to thine own self be true, "it's more of a guideline really", be polite but always have a plan to kill anyone you meet, not seeing color, the total destruction of Title IX, going rogue, hunter s. thompson, believing in a higher power, ROWYCO, "I can't accept not trying", orienteering, comedy, meaningful music and some catchy dance grooves, selling out (the positive connotation kind), partner stretches, personal idealism, the Socratic method, running to win, popping your chin strap, KG's intensity, being radical in way that the TMNTs are, wit, one liners, HD TV, fighting the good fight, laughing at imminent danger or death averted, earned sleep, shared hardship, fair warning, top gun, liberally interpreting the gray area, smiles, double days, when hard work pays off, championship celebrations, self determination, and above all COMMON SENSE.
All campaign contributors get a free piece of badass gear. What is that you ask? Well, donate and find out. All of the crew will additionally be included in the construction of the party's accords.
The Jolly Roger flying over the capital as the unofficial national colors is change I can believe in and so can you.
Faithfully Yours,
Cap'n P.L.P. Cutlass of the Rogue Ship "The Renegade"
1 comment:
You had me at super-sets.
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